A letter to my godchild
Today a very personal blogpost. I’m writing a letter to my godchild. She’s now 5 and I’m printing it out (in Dutch) for when she’s 15, so in 10 years. I can already tell you guys that it’s going to be about girlpower! Hopefully, I don't loose this document haha!
Hi K, when I turned 25, you became my godchild on my birthday. What a lovely surprise. I’m never going to forget this special birthday. I cried like a baby because you chose me haha. Why, oh why am I always so emotional? So, I’m writing this letter to you because it’s my responsability to teach you things.
Now, at age 15, I know that you’re going to be this super girly girl, with probably a lot of boys behind you. Why? Because they’ll love the fact that you are so feminine and dream of becoming a princess one day, but you still have this super strong will. I love that. Us girls, we really need to be strong and powerful. I always relied on my boyfriend for taking steps in my own life. I was super hesitant and wanted to have his second opinion for every big step in my life. Now I learned that this is nonsense. We need to take control over our lives, all by ourselves. We can ask for second opinions, but in the end it’s up to just us.
So the major thing that I want to teach you is to be your own beautiful self. During my personal teen ages, I was so insecure and wanted to fit in everywhere. Here’s the deal, you can’t fit in and probably won't fit in everywhere perfectly. Now is the time to search for the places where you want to and actually can fit it.
Don’t try to be cooler than you already are. Don’t try to be more badass than you are. I always wanted to be this super cool rockerchick, but I was actually a big nerd and I didn't want to accept that. When I became a teenager, I started to have a bigger mouth to my friends so that no one would see the actual me. Nowadays, some friends still think that I used to be super strong back then, because of the image I gave them. But in fact, I was not. I was very unhappy and super insecure about myself. Later, I learned to deal with it but it took me about 10 years. But hey, I'm not going to depress you now!
People will accept you one day, just the way you are. And with this, it’s totally okay to experience things and experiment. And if your parents don’t agree with you, know that you’ll always welcome at my place to complain about them. This is the time where you’re searching for your own morals and sometimes, they won’t match with your parents’ visions. But this is okay too, because later you’ll learn to see the good in these differences. I still don’t agree with my parents for some things in life, but that’s okay now. At my teen years, it was good to learn that other people had other visions.
Oh and about drugs and alcohol, know that I'm not a fan about it. I repeat: NOT. I never tried it and probably never will? But if you want to test this, it's your own decision. For all the upcoming difficulties in your life, don't use these products to clear your mind. Just talk to your parents. They are your support system no matter what. And if you feel like dinstancing yourself from them, then just come to me. I'll talk with them for you. Don't think that drugs will take away your problems. You'll need to learn how to face life yourself. To me, relaxation and meditation helped (but only at age 23 or something, I figures this out). Maybe, in 10 years from now, there are other ways to help you to relax and have a healthy mind. I'm looking forward to testing that out together with you.
My fave quote during highschool was: When you're feeling empty, keep me in your memory. This was a line from a Linkin Park song. Linkin Park was a metal band that day for all the alternative kids like me (around 2008 I discivered them I think). Now, in 2018 the band doesn't fully exist anymore because the lead singer killed himself in the summer of 2017. Yes, my teen-years immediately over! I'll learn you more about this group, you'll understand it.
I loved the quote because it's about friendship, but deeper and intenser. It has like a dark connotation because it's also about being alone. And yes, I was this alternative-alone teen haha! So, when you're ever feeling empty, then just think about me (or call me, I'll come over sweetheart).
Then last but not least I want to talk about your body and the way you look at yourself. Always treat your body right. Your body is your temple, they say. I really believe this is true. Cheesy, but true. Eat right, be healty and have a healty mind as well. If you're ever insecure about your body, just try working out or find a sport that you love (ballet hopefully?). Never go on a diet. This is so dangerous at this age. It'll destroy a healthy way of looking at your body. With this, I also refer to alcohol and drugs, hint hint! But I'm not here to point my finger at you. I also want to use this to talk about boys, or girls (because, no matter what sexuality you have, right...). Make sure that you have the control over your body. Never let anyone do things to yourself that you don't want to. Because, if you have a healthy relationship it'll be worth the wait. If you're not feeling ready to experiment with your lover, then just communicate that with him/her. There's plenty of time in your life to try everything out! It'll be fun and exciting.
I hope I've mentioned everything that I wanted to talk about. I hope that you kill it in highschool, that you have decent grades and mostly: that you're following classes that you're passionate about. When you're a grown up, you'll learn that it's okay to be a nerd and to want to learn things. About love: I hope that you have a good relationshipf and if not, one day, it'll come, I'm sure! And actually, I'm a bit curious who you are going to talk to first about this! You're not ready for real love, you'll learn that later. Real love will come after you fully accept yourself first and I believe that it all takes time. You can have a big crush on someone, but really loving him/her will take time. Oh and my final tip: make sure to date your best friend!! This will give you the best relationship, my personal experience.
Have a great 15th birthday, I love you. And here are some cute old shots I found on facebook (will Facebook still exist though?).
My first shot of us together, you were crying because of your teeth , they were coming out and hurted you, poor cutie! May 19th- 2014
Same day, but I gave you food. Food always works when you're in pain haha!
July 13th- 2016. Can you spot the braid?
November 30th- 2016. You got my old pointes hihi so adorable with your Elsa-cape.
A shot stolen from your mom, us lefties drawing. It was your 5th birthday and we went to the Nutcracker ballet!