What people don't tell about ADD
Hi sweethearts
So in this blogpost, I’ll share with you more about my ADD and especially the symptoms that no one tells you about.
We all know ADD/ADHD and the symptoms such as;
lack of focus, a terrible short term memory, losing your stuff everywhere, chaos in your head and life, being tired all the time, lack of interest in stuff you don’t like, being stressed easily, moodswings, being impulsive, feeling regret, etc.
But from personal experience, I can tell you guys a lot more other symptoms that people forget about.. or even don’t know about. So here they are. I’ve listed a couple of them up for you guys, from personal experience. And also; this post is not easy for me to write because I do talk about things in my life that are not perfect but I want to keep things real here. So yes, this is another post straight from the heart... and hard for me to write. But; writing about it helps! And doing the research about this subject for me is as inspiring as it is hard to acknowledge. I had to read about things that are hard to me to feel but it’s interesting to know more about myself too.
So here they are:
Forgetting everything: people with ADD have lack of focus so it’s normal that we don’t memorise every single thing that happens in life. I have experienced it before that people were talking about events (that I attended with them) and that I just simply could not remember what they were talking about. This is especially for events later during the day (yes, me being tired again). Conclusion: I do not remember a lot of conversations I’ve had in the past.
I had a lot of arguments with my ex boyfriend because of this matter. He said that something did happen or that he specifically said something…and I was like “ahm, that clearly did not happen or, nope, you did not tell me that”. But now, after a lot more research, I noticed that it was NOT his problem. He probably did tell me all of this, but I wasn’t paying enough attention back then and so I wasn’t really “there” in that moment. And it’s actually so weird but I also have a lot of blackouts from the past. Sometimes people tell me something that happened, and that I completely can’t remember it happening. This is such a terrifying feeling, like knowing that you sometimes just aren’t really there… But it does not have anything to do with drugs or alcohol, it’s just YOU.
Also important to tell; when you miss conversations you’ve actually had.. You’ll probably will redo the conversations over again, later on in your head. And then it’s easy to overthink everything that has happened. For me; meditation helps me to stop overfocussing on stressful stuff.
Having problems with prioritising stuff and often starting with the least important job to do. Why do we do this? Because sometimes, the easier stuff to do is the best way to cope with / ignore the other important jobs to do. Because then we lose ourselves into the super unimportant job, that we want to do it super perfect… but then it takes a lot more time to finish the job, because of perfectionism. But, perfectionism on the unimportant stuff. So if you want to help us with studying for school, make sure that we start to study first.. and that we’re not cleaning up or that we start crafting/ facebooking/ ….
Now about the stress-cleaning: my sister does it, I do it,… it’s a common thing at our house. We both really are messy girls and we hate cleaning up all of our stuff (remember: chaos). But when we have to start working on something big, for example: studying for finals… We’ll probably end up cleaning the entire house… instead of starting to study.
Also: one important positive thing about Ritaline: when you take it while studying, you’re going in a hyperfocus.. and all of the sudden you become the most organised person ever. SO yes, this probaboy means that you’re going to hate yourself for studying in a messy room… and yes, you’re going to clean things up before stating to study.
Needing more sleep. As some of you might be surprised about this.. or not?
We have to focus a lot harder during the day than others.. so we tired ourselves out more too.. Don’t forget that!
The need of change: because life gets to bore us easily, we need a lot of change. For me, traveling a lot gives me the right balance I need. Others might change their jobs a lot, change relationships, change houses,…
A more personal and secret part about people with ADD/ADHD is the problems we have with relationships. We often end up doubting our lives and cheating is something that does happen. I didn’t personally cheat before (yet), but I do believe that cheating is a thing that us humans do. Especially people with ADHD, why? Because we need change and we continuously look for the grass to be greener elsewhere. I do believe in soulmates, I still do but I don’t think that soulmates need to be together. I’m not sure if I’d be able to live with the same person for my entire life. And if I do end up finding that someone, I’d probably still travel a lot, to be able to get away from the daily life… and to be able to cope with everything and/or him 😊
I always used to think about the fact if my ex was the right one for me. If he was perfect or not. But yeah, no one actually is, right? (cliché cliché)
Distancing ourselves: which is very much needed. Sometimes, for me this also means that I cancel plans with friends. Not because I don’t love them... but I am my own priority. And even though this might seem selfish, sometimes I forget to think about myself for too long and then I end up being extremely tired about life. This is dangerous to me because when my mind shifts to negative thoughts, it’s super easy for me to get depressed. I’ve been there and I try my very best not to go there ever again.
Being sensitive to addiction: this is probably why I’ve never drank, gambled, took strong meds,… I’m extremely afraid of getting addicted. People with ADD get addicted to these products because the constant search for thrills… the search for more in life.
I think that if I’d ever drink or do drugs, to deal with feelings... that it’ll be super easy for me to get addicted and not being able to stop. I’ve seen a lot of negative side effects of addiction before, and luckily for me, these were enough motivation for me not to try any of these products out.
Finances, a terrible disaster!
Ofcourse, since everything in life is extra chaotic for people with ADD, finances are also hard to manage. For me especially since I do have dyscalculia too. My tip here: make sure to always have 50 euros in cash in your wallet. Try to do payments cash, so that you can actually see the money going…
And also: work with direct debits, so that you don’t have to stress about payments!
And this was my last subject to talk about. I didn’t want to make this post too long.. and didn’t want to sound too negative.. But I also want to raise awareness…
So do you guys recognise some of these symptoms too?
Thanks for reading this personal post,
X Steph